Rebuilding ,Renewal

When I lived in Indiana right after Izzy was born I was just beginning my women's empowerment classes we did meditation and we shared stories we sent each other notes of support. over the years I fell hard into Radio and even though I did listener events I never again went as far as classes or gatherings. Now I find my self in one of the toughest last year so far of my marriage , watching my husband go through pain of loss and also the growing pains of moving forward without his father who was his best male friend . yes its been very hard . I woke up the other day thinking ok I need to get back to basics I need to get back to what brings me joy and also helps others in the process,

I have decided to get my Meditation practice up and going once more. These days I spend most of my time with my amazing kids . I have come to see that mediation and taking mini zen times really help them with studies. I cant wait to get it all together Im planning mommy and me meditation classes free introduction classes and discounts to mommies who homeschool I can feel the energy flow already. NOW........finding the right places to meet .....time to network

Lifting Me Up....

I woke today with not only my head spinning into so many directions I couldn't see straight I also had a stomach ache , and the final pangs of leaving these horrific meds behind FOREVER I thought........ I thought of my Father and trying to remember his Voice , yesterday was his birthday , he been gone 26 years now , I still pain over him like it was yesterday, I look at my son and see and hear his humor in his facial expressions, I guess I would feel the same way watching myself LOL. those that know me well think Dillon is so much like me as a kid. The thought of NOW WHAT....keeps climbing into my mind , refurbishing my father in laws home has taken a toll on our little family , my amazing husband has worked so hard and continues to, to bring value to this property, he is succeeding. after being in Media 22 years and having been in theatre and having struggled with no less than 2 to 3 jobs before I met davin , I sat today in our car and IT HIT ME I am BORED and TIRED I dont know how to NOT "DO" to not MOVE around and be completing something ,creating something, learning something. right now I wash way too many dishes by hand in a sink that I believe hercules installed the hardware....you MUST PUSH AND PULL harder than a Viking in the lower level of a ship, to get from cold to hot and back OR from Left to right. BUT it is not my home Im ...LIV...survi...ummm squatting here for a bit, laugh if you will but I have about 5 outfits , none of our belongings and a couple of kitchen items , the rest is in storage waiting. and we are here waiting for our home to be done. we WILL be in there in a couple of weeks and soon I can be free of the over feeling yucky in this somewhat taken care of home , it also was a hoarded place so the cleanup has never been complete here and certain things in this house can only be fixed by Complete Elimination , since it is not our place to do so ,(its my sister in laws home)(she returns here from NYC at months end) I am a very sad Portuguese homemaker , Dirt is not my thing, so I have been in a NOT MY THING home for 6 months now . the latest thought is business OURS ,MINE,HIS all the things that were put ON HOLD after his father passed . we must find the courage to regroup to restart Its hard to get advice from folks who have never cracked a mic or interviewed a celebrity or Public figure, Most people have no idea what it takes to create a SHOW have followers Listeners , and be responsible for ENTERTAINING masses SO HOW can we go and try to explain where we are at in our career and how much we have suffered to be where we are now in our journey , if no one around us has left the state they live in never mind Interviewed Jessica Simpson. we must take everyones advice with not only a grain of salt but also understand They do not understand Nor will they ever , Unless they live with us and do what we do.

it has indeed been a challenge , we have moved YES, but in those past moves there was always a job to go to. today was hard , and the rain made it harder. picking up my fatherin laws grave marker.....HARDER still , a hard sad day with all that happened today , a phone call from my mother put things in a greater light then ever as I tried not to cry telling her what I feel ....SHE came back with WHAT I WAS FEELING, weird? no, not at all MOMS know. when I told her about how we are Struggling to make sense of what GOD has laid out for us , SHE came back with this is your journey and share your thoughts with GOD as him to clear the path so you can make the best decisions ONLY you BOTH know what you are capable of doing , ONLY both of you know where you have been. whats going to hurt your kids? a move? a failed marriage? an unexpected Death? DISEASE? YOU know you're kids better than anyone else, I began to really think about everyone I have been around in the last months OR who have I had serious conversations with

I have Military friends, Divorced friends , settled for life friends, and to be honest NO ONE is with out some issue. society wants to make all of us feel warped and wrong because we were handed a not PERFECT HAND. this all has been a good lesson today and I feel better at 4:00pm then I did at 8 am and as I finish writing this I am busy thinking of what yummy dinner I can put together tonight as well, and having many things to do makes me feel much better.

6 months Never in all my moves has it been this difficult to be ok in my surroundings , Both homes we are connected with , (the one we're living in) and of coarse the worse of the two the one which we will call home , had to be cleaned and when I say cleaned, I dont mean oh some bleach some windex it will be good as new!!!

yea .....about that ..... just on the cleaning of the homestead it has taken us 1 and half boxes of construction size trash bags , just for trash , that does not includes hard ware and wood. that does include piles and piles of rat chewed clothing , documents,linens towels, recreation toys, frames . then there was the after math of the chewing.................POOP. dust pans filled with rat POOP .....dead spiders, roaches,scorpions,cicada bugs. the house we are staying had less animal mess but the hoarding was the same and the smoke smell continues till we are gone. all our things lay in storage and we have limited clothing so laundry is doubled. I was brought up in a home where cleanliness was at the top of the list , it is a stepping stone to organization which is the key to making life run smoother , knowing what you possess and what needs fixing what is needed and not needed so to be put in a situation where NONE of that is taking place and has not been in a very long time is very hard road. we all have mistakes we have made in our lives and roads we should not have taken , even though there have been missteps my kids are not at the mercy of our choices , they have been very well taken care of they are loved and compared to other countries and other families around us they have both parents , their parents really love each other, we pray together, we try as hard as possible to never go too long without eating dinner together yes we are CATHOLIC , that is OUR path. and I believe it has been the SAVIOR to our heartache. there is still so much more to do and writing my Portuguese 1st Gen cookbook is in the works, my cooking show op was put on hold , our show was put on hold, the time is coming when all of this will become fluid and it is soon. and these things are what KEEP me going Keep me strong till the day when my house will no longer be uncomfortable to be in. and that day is Soon

And ....................Om and Om and Om AND I DON'T STOP !!!

I have been wearing my hair straight as of late, gave myself a chunky cut and I have fun molding and curling fun stuff. BUT tonight I was sore , I did PORTUGUESE clean up , heee heee on Dillon's Room Friday night and the moving of the EVERYTHING not nailed to the floor hassss to happen , ya just GOTTA !!!


But with that and to tired to move my tired Ass into any pose I went into a Eucalyptus oil shower , VArrrRRrrY nice indeed.... BUT not good when you have been moving hips in weird push beds and side tables , so on stepping out of shower WHAM the swelling set in and orange spots to purple to red to BIG ......whompppp whommp whomp!!!

so I said SCREW IT !!!!! SCREW IT!!!! NO straight ...super gel!!! and yoga pants awayyyyyyy

filled the Tub with about a foot of colder then Newt Ging-grinches heart water and soak UM LOL they now were SHOCKED!!! well I was better and ready to OM !!!!! a bit

FELT well But NO sleep till ....................BAMP BAMP BROOKLYNNNnnNNNNnnnn!!! which is 3:40ishhhhhhhh ?? no idea but I have made up my mind

I WILL NOT GO TO BED and lay there staring longer than 20 minutes ......to depressing and I can be getting SOMETHING DONE !!!!

there is a ...........strange AURA around us lately , and It may be my own mind just being calmer more ZEN , Oh you here it everywhere from different people in different cultures and countries , "One Day I woke up, as if from dreaming and I began living " what did that mean?? what were they doing before ?? what is LIVING for these people???

well I AM Officially ONE of THOSE people

I have been dealt some very strange cards since I left ATTLEBORO MASS in 1996,


But here is what I used when I owned Sage Dreams , which my husband insists I start up again , ( Women's Mediatation and prayer workshops)


hope you find it helpful !


A simple life has a different meaning and a different value for every person. For me, it means eliminating all but the essential, eschewing chaos for peace, and spending your time doing what’s important to you.

It means getting rid of many of the things you do so you can spend time with people you love and do the things you love. It means getting rid of the clutter so you are left with only that which gives you value.

However, getting to simplicity isn’t always a simple process. It’s a journey, not a destination, and it can often be a journey of two steps forward, and one backward.

If you’re interested in simplifying your life, this is a great starter’s guide (if you’re not interested, move on).

The Short List
For the cynics who say that the list below is too long, there are really only two steps to simplifying:

Identify what’s most important to you.
Eliminate everything else.
Of course, that’s not terribly useful unless you can see how to apply that to different areas of your life, so I present to you the Long List.

The Long List
There can be no step-by-step guide to simplifying your life, but I’ve compiled an incomplete list of ideas that should help anyone trying to find the simple life. Not every tip will work for you — choose the ones that appeal and apply to your life.

One important note: this list will be criticized for being too complicated, especially as it provides a bunch of links. Don’t stress out about all of that. Just choose one at a time, and focus on that. When you’re done with that, focus on the next thing.


Free up time. Find ways to free up time for the important stuff. That means eliminating the stuff you don’t like, cutting back on time wasters, and making room for what you want to do.

Do what you love. Once you’ve freed up some time, be sure to spend that extra time doing things you love. Go back to your list of 4-5 important things. Do those, and nothing else. Read more.

Spend time with people you love. Again, the list of 4-5 important things probably contains some of the people you love (if not, you may want to re-evaluate). Whether those people are a spouse, a partner, children, parents, other family, best friends, or whoever, find time to do things with them, talk to them, be intimate with them (not necessarily in sexual ways).



Be present. These two words can make a huge difference in simplifying your life. Living here and now, in the moment, keeps you aware of life, of what is going on around you and within you. It does wonders for your sanity. Read tips on how to do it.


Find inner simplicity. I have found that spending a little time with my inner self creates a peaceful simplicity rather than a chaotic confusion. This could be time praying or communing with God, or time spent meditating or journaling or getting to know yourself, or time spent in nature. However you do it, working on your inner self is worth the time.

counting buy 5's

So my Baby turned 5 .......NO I don't believe anymore babies are coming...But God is an amazing Game changer so we must always keep our hearts open to whatever GREAT cryingpeeingvomitingburpinggigglingsmilingAMAZINGLOVINGNIRVANA he presents us with, I was deep in memories and thoughts of being 5 , I hardly spoke english ...weird!!!
I loved frogs and worms and rain storms (still do) I wanted to be an Actress (really how surprising) and I wanted to own a bizness (this annoyance continued way into my tweens ask Lisa Marie Santos she'll tell you the frustration she felt having to play HALMARK store with me the freak kid who saved cards ! truth be told those old cards were Sooo lovely the glitter was amazing! there was Thick Christmas glitter and softer glitter powdered


Oh I lived in crazy polyester patterned clothing part of the world, oh I know the 70's WERE the 70's NO one was exempt from UGLY but there were degrees of UGLY even in the beer and fondue induced fog everyone was in.
I dug into the photo box and found this beauty ! ready for 2012 dissection and critic made with love .....

okay I will start with what I love first my DAD sucha funny sweet man let my life too too soon :(
this was the heaviest my mom ever was in her life !! that top is not really doing her any favors either.....and well lets skip the set hair thing.....

now lets look closer shall we....take my Hand as I introduce you to the

"I'll Be darned if that doesn't remind me of Mr. Freaking ROGERS CURTAINS!!! "



also the Horse pic ......LOVE IT and the lamp .......BUT THE ultimate winner in ugly in this photo is the Paneling !!!


love my cake ! little VEGAS looking Dancers kicking their tiny heels at me being 5 !!!!! yep thats how we ROLL !!!

so this year 2012


there will be many an anniversary to be celebrated.....

on July 26th 2012 , Davin and I will be married 15 years !!!! EEKKKKK!!! yeeGADS !!!

and yes the whole "THEY'LL NEVER MAKE IT IN A RADIO/MARRIAGE!" Was very common , we knew it was not going to be a an easy ride and we are so not special

there has been ups downs sideways "OH NO YOU DIDN'T's) and yes even those creepy periods where the Devil tried to steal our glory.


its a marriage and its SO AWESOME to have another person to keep you going .

Also this Dec is our 15th year anniversary of our Start as a show in California .


where do the years GO........ everyday we look in the mirror .......everything looks the same?? sorta.....right?

then you pull out an Album and BOOMZAMMM WHAMMO!!! its like a deflater to your soul !!! WHAT?? where did this grey come from and why why why can't I get rid of this BABY FAT above my C-section scar!!!

ok enough of that ,

I have learned some amazing lessons that I not only LEARNED but am REALLY applying to my life everyday.
I noticed that FB is also growing I read alot more quotes and a lot less personal stories

remember when we were collecting fish and flowers??? then came farmville THEN came EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE -"Ville"

I am waiting ohhhh so patiently ...for FELONY-VILLE

you commit crimes and SOmetimes get away with it and SOMETIMES ...NOT !!!

Ohhhhh the fun my divorced family and friends could have with an EX app ....create your EX and beat him OR her ...But who are we kidding here ????? "HER"

come onnnnnnn yes we know a couple of "HERS" that would fit BUT the HIMS are much more in SEASON when STUPIDITY is concerned.

okay maybe I went a little UN- P.C. you watch......its coming....

OKAY back to what this blog was SUPPOSE to be about . MY new POD casts and research for my show.

I am inviting EVERYONE to be a part in either opinion or just FUN!!!

I am excited and ready to take this BULL by the horns and RUN!!!

5

the shape of things...........

As most of you know my amazing only brother passed away this month .

he was AN AMERICAN DREAM story

we were brought up modest , by a jewelry packer and a tool maker who LOVED BEING AMERICAN , when I visited portugal when I was a kid , I once asked my mom "don't you miss this paradise, its beautiful " she said " yes I miss it and its beautiful, But the USA is home." I knew she meant it , we were constantly told to study hard and give thanks to GOD for living in this country,
and my Brother one day came home to ask dad to sign for him to be able to join the USAF a 17 , he had gone right after graduation and since his birthday was aug 4 he was not 18 for 3 more months, .....he couldn't wait to join, and stayed for 34 years, ending with being an aircraft inspector . I took the other American road in college I became a history nerd , spending weekends going to historical sites, amazing how much history was within footsteps of my home.


The day of the funeral I went back to my parents home and grabbed my Camera I walked the yard and it seemed smaller somehow , so many new trees I remember where all the tall apple trees were when I was younger, I made sure to touch the stone indian wall like I did when I was a girl, I still making way under the grape vines to that wall to see what the squeaky sound was, and getting there to see 4 kittens meowing their little new born meows,

I laughed till I cried in this yard, and cried till I collapsed in this yard, I found myself wiping tears away that day that seemed to have no beginning and no end. I thought of my husband so far away in colorado waiting for me to call and tell him it was fine.


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I thought about the new men in my life Davin my husband and Dillon my Son, and how much I love them and how amazing that even though they can never be my father or brother GOD had given so much ......I had a wonderful father for 18 short years I knew him and it was great! and God left an amazing brother who I wish we had seen more of each other But a sister makes the choices sometimes that breaks her heart but brings peace to many more.





and now I have the sweetest little boy and a great man who is not perfect by any means BUT strong and worth forgiving .

my mother joined me outside after a bit and we enjoyed talking about all the herbs and all the trees.





such a peaceful evening after a heartbreaking day, I snapped away at trees I loved and missed and flowers and grass .as
if to capture them not only for a GREAT picture but a peace that can be taken everywhere I go and still feel the love of home. home








I snapped away at trees I loved and missed and flowers and grass .as
if to capture them not only for a GREAT picture but a peace that can be taken everywhere I go and still feel the love of home. home.