Friday, October 1, 2010
the shape of things...........
As most of you know my amazing only brother passed away this month .
he was AN AMERICAN DREAM story
we were brought up modest , by a jewelry packer and a tool maker who LOVED BEING AMERICAN , when I visited portugal when I was a kid , I once asked my mom "don't you miss this paradise, its beautiful " she said " yes I miss it and its beautiful, But the USA is home." I knew she meant it , we were constantly told to study hard and give thanks to GOD for living in this country,
and my Brother one day came home to ask dad to sign for him to be able to join the USAF a 17 , he had gone right after graduation and since his birthday was aug 4 he was not 18 for 3 more months, .....he couldn't wait to join, and stayed for 34 years, ending with being an aircraft inspector . I took the other American road in college I became a history nerd , spending weekends going to historical sites, amazing how much history was within footsteps of my home.
The day of the funeral I went back to my parents home and grabbed my Camera I walked the yard and it seemed smaller somehow , so many new trees I remember where all the tall apple trees were when I was younger, I made sure to touch the stone indian wall like I did when I was a girl, I still making way under the grape vines to that wall to see what the squeaky sound was, and getting there to see 4 kittens meowing their little new born meows,
I laughed till I cried in this yard, and cried till I collapsed in this yard, I found myself wiping tears away that day that seemed to have no beginning and no end. I thought of my husband so far away in colorado waiting for me to call and tell him it was fine.
I thought about the new men in my life Davin my husband and Dillon my Son, and how much I love them and how amazing that even though they can never be my father or brother GOD had given so much ......I had a wonderful father for 18 short years I knew him and it was great! and God left an amazing brother who I wish we had seen more of each other But a sister makes the choices sometimes that breaks her heart but brings peace to many more.
and now I have the sweetest little boy and a great man who is not perfect by any means BUT strong and worth forgiving .
my mother joined me outside after a bit and we enjoyed talking about all the herbs and all the trees.
such a peaceful evening after a heartbreaking day, I snapped away at trees I loved and missed and flowers and grass .as
if to capture them not only for a GREAT picture but a peace that can be taken everywhere I go and still feel the love of home. home
I snapped away at trees I loved and missed and flowers and grass .as
if to capture them not only for a GREAT picture but a peace that can be taken everywhere I go and still feel the love of home. home.